My name is Jay. I like to write. I have a daughter and a wife who just so happen to be the coolest women in the whole universe. That kind of sucks for you. If you're a girl, you'll never be number 1, and if you're a dude, you have to keep your hands off or I'll tell everybody in the world that you have an std, and then I'll hire some goons to give you an std at gun point.